Bullet Train
Written by Cameron Geiser
Sometimes all you want is to watch a no frills action movie full of eye candy. If you’re looking for that, then Bullet Train is the film for you. Directed by the man that brought you Deadpool 2 and the Fast and Furious spinoff Hobbs and Shaw, that should tell you all you need to know about the tone and execution of this latest film. This is a film where a various number of assassins, all with playful codenames like Ladybug, Lemon and Tangerine, The Wolf, The Hornet etc, all interact violently with each other aboard a speeding train throughout Japan, from Tokyo to Kyoto. There are, thankfully, legitimate story reasons for them all to be aboard the train, and it does come together in the third act- but the second half of the second act gets a little messy amid all the bloodshed.
This is a movie that’s mostly concerned with entertaining you first and foremost. Soaked in neon lighting and full to the brim of grisly violence, executed quite skillfully when it comes to the visuals and choreography, Bullet Train is generally a fun time at the movies but it does require some serious suspension of disbelief for enjoyment. Thankfully the ensemble cast of characters are all exquisitely entertaining, but none more so than Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry) and Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). While the audience surrogate in Brad Pitt’s California Cool assassin, codename Ladybug, is consistently a riot throughout the film, I was most surprised by the performances of Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor Johnson’s British hitmen. Their banter was clever and frequently caught me off guard with just how funny it all was. In fact, the whole movie was far more comedic than I had expected, and that was an undeniable cornerstone of what ultimately made the film work for me.
Expect Bullet Train to be silly and not serious, and you may enjoy it.
The basic premise is that Ladybug needs to steal a briefcase off the train as quickly as possible without getting noticed. Obviously, things don’t go as planned. The briefcase belongs to Lemon and Tangerine, who themselves are delivering the case, and a Russian Gang leader’s son, to a handler in Japan. There’s also about three or four undisclosed celebrity cameos that pop in and out of the film, but I’ll leave that for the marketing department to ruin for you- all were fun, but some were a bit ridiculous. Though, to be fair, the whole film is kind of ridiculous in an over the top genre fashion. The film also indulges *heavily* in stereotypes relating to various nationalities, I mean, they really overdid that aspect. Did I laugh at some of them? Yes. Was it a bit lazy and cliche to do it that many times? Also yes.
There’s also so many various backstories with a new plot thread introduced about every five minutes, give or take a scene or two. The script clearly loses track of a couple of those threads in the middle, but I was willing to let that slide because the film is a pretty fun action romp with likable characters. Though I have to say I wish the film trusted it’s audience more. Whenever a character references something that has already happened (Before and after all characters board the train) the film does snap edits of those exact beats or moments. I mean, c’mon movie- our collective short term memory isn’t that bad! If you’re looking for a surprisingly slick action movie with a solidly comedic undertone, check out Bullet Train. It’s only half as stupid as you might expect.
Cameron Geiser is an avid consumer of films and books about filmmakers. He'll watch any film at least once, and can usually be spotted at the annual Traverse City Film Festival in Northern Michigan. He also writes about film over at www.spacecortezwrites.com.